there's first time for everything.

i'm 19 and a lot had happened in my life since my conception. i was born grew up had sex and fell in love, but maybe not in that order. i'm definately a lost little girl who likes to pretend i have things in control. i love being right and dont admit when i'm wrong. and i enjoy being a loner, although i'm lookin for a friend. life gets lonely when you constantly push people away because you want to show you can handle things youself. its ok to ask for help sometimes, a concept i havent comletely grasped yet, but soon. i'm in love with a nerd, a sexy nerd, but still a nerd. i've never been in a decent relationship since i've discovered boys, and even the current fling has its dysfuntions, but dysfuntions i can put up with.

i'm crazy, paranoid, silly, goofy, fun,, obsessive compulsive, and serious. i enjoy my life but i never take life for granted. i love music but enjoy silence. i get lost in my own thoughts and dont come back for days, and drugs just make the trip worse. and there are somethings i can tell to a computer that i cant tell my mother.... there are somethings i can tell to someone else riding the bus that i cant tell my mother.

i was born and raised to believe everything i thought i knew, then soon realized it was a little twisted. i like speakin my mind, but i'm always scared of what someone might say. i'm a people pleaser, main person being me.

in the past year i've undergone a serious spiritual overhall to become the person i am at this moment. it has become clear that it was needed. i lost my dignity, pride, and self worth, until a few months ago and now i'm here. i havent felt like myself until now, and i really didnt know what was wrong with me until now. i pray every night, and each night God listens.

nice to meet you, God bless

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